You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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