Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
