so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
