Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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