You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
