this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize