I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
