i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
