yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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