I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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