if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize