I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
