people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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