What did we do last night that was yellow?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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