I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
