he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
