I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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