Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
