Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
