sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
