I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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