Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
