i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
