boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well I just put wine in my tea
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
