You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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