Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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