I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
