im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
