no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
