Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
