I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
