They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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