I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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