wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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