my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
...so i touched it.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
