Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
