Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I did not marry a roomba.
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