I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
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