Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
