i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
