And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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