Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
