Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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