ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
