they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
