idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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