idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
