i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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