I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize