Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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