god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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