i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize