its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize