Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize